The Good Side of the Bad

I believe that we are only ever given as much as we can handle at one time.  I may be naive about this but it is something I very much believe in.  In saying that, I am ready for the next thing to be thrown at me because I know, that no matter what it is, I will be alright.

Some people will say that I am just burying my head in my hands and that I need to take time out for myself, and I totally understand why they think that.... but for some reason I just don't feel the need. Sure things have been pretty shitty for me this year, from the recent passing of my father, to my in-laws both currently being in hospital, to my having to lay my soul saviour Mack to rest yesterday. But you know what, this year is almost over; this means that there's only good stuff that can come now.

I have been very lucky this year too, because through all the bad stuff, through all the dark days, through all the times I have wanted to scream, shout, rant and rage, I have had a mountain of support. My man has been my rock, he has been there for me at every step, sometimes quietly in the background, sometimes pushing me forward, or holding me steady.  He has seen me cry so much but has kissed my swollen eyes telling me I am beautiful.  He has put his arms around me and told me that he is sorry for my losses.  He has held me when I needed him too and pushed me away when I was just being plain stoopid.

He has made me laugh, frustrated the bejeebees out of me, loved me unconditionally and accepted me for being the crier that I am.  But you know the one thing he has never done?  He has never told me to get over it.  He has always just let me be me.

I am grateful for him and to him.  I am so blessed that he chose me to be with me and that he knows me like he does.  This year hasn't been a good one for him either.  He has faced his own challenges, his own heartache and his own issues.  Although we are both going through stuff, we have always managed to be there for each other.

Some people say that a great relationship is all about the sex and of course, communication.  To a point I agree with them.  But what happens when you are both so tired that you can't stay awake after 8pm or one of you goes to bed while the other one stays awake because they have so much running through their heads.  What happens when one is so depressed that all they want to do is crawl into a ball and cry for hours on end.  What happens when the talk stops too?

For me a great relationship is born from mutual respect, the not wanting to change the other person. It's about each person's acceptance, or even love of all of the others idiosyncrasies.  It is the way that person looks at you and sees your soul.  It's the little touches like a hand on your back, the squeeze of your hand when you place yours in theirs.  It's the way they let you be your own person but aren't too scared to pull you up and say "hey I think you have gone too far there".  It's the anticipation of hearing their voice on the other end of the phone.  Of looking at the phone and thinking, "hmm I haven't heard from my man or girl yet".  It's the counting the minutes until you are in that person's presence again.  But, it is also knowing and accepting that you each need your space.  That sometimes, just being under the same roof is all that is needed from your other special someone.

I don't believe there is a perfect relationship, I don't believe that any one successful relationship should be what others base their "I want one like that" future relationships on.  Each relationship only works, or fails for that matter, because of the two people in it.

Something else that I have been blessed with this year is friendships.  From people I have never met to my best friend and everyone one in between.... you have all been there for me.  You have made me laugh when I needed to and allowed me to cry when I wanted to. Your support, your messages of love, and belief in me, your understanding of what is going on in my life and your encouragement toward me making it through whatever it is that is going on.  Reminding me that tomorrow is a new day and that no matter what happens, you are there for me.  It is all of you, and more that I am truly blessed with.  If I hadn't of experienced the hardships I did this year, maybe I would never have known or even realised any of this, I could even have unconsciously taking each of you for granted.

So thank you universe, thank you Higher Powers, thank you to each and every one of you.  You have helped to make this, a truly amazing year so far.  I can't wait and I am super excited for the remainder of the year to come, and to lessons it may teach me.