The Power of Suggestion and Second Chances

I feel like I should be writing words of wisdom (or my wisdom anyway) or at least a funny anecdote that I have in my forever increasing repertoire of life experiences.  But somehow at the moment, it all just seems like its moments.

It's always hard finding time to be good to yourself or to say nice words to yourself when you are busy living life.  I seem to be drifting through it all at the moment, without really stopping to smell the roses so to speak, or at least I was, until last weekend.

Last weekend, I happened to be in a place that I wanted to be nice to myself, give my soul a little love and attention it so richly deserved, so I went to a mind body and spirit festival.  I am always curious about meeting people who claim to have the gift of being able to speak with loved ones on the other side, or using tarot cards to foresee into my future. Along time ago I used to think tarot cards were amazing, until I bought a pack and realized that with each card's meaning, the interpretation of it would change depending on what was happening in my life at the time.  I came to learn that the death card didn't mean someone was going to die, it meant that something was going to end.  Or did it?

Anyway, I was walking with hoards of other people among the numerous "fortune tellers" and "mediums", all either busy talking to a client or quietly sitting there trying to make eye contact or smile as people walked past.  You could see they were hoping that someone would take up the seat opposite them, see them waiting for a the next reading, hoping they could reach someone "from the other side" for the person sitting across from them who would be eagerly waiting for a message to come through.  Me, I was among the throngs of people just walking around, trying to get a feel for the right person to sit in front of.  I don't know what I was trying to feel for though because I don't believe I have a sixth sense, or at least I didn't.

I walked past a particular tarot reader who told me to take a card.  "Go on" she said, "it won't cost you anything for just one card."  I voluntarily reach out to the deck of cards and pull one out then lay it face up on the table in front of me.  "The Master".  The reader says to me "Oh, you have drawn "The Master" then she pauses.  You are very closed off and a master at hiding your feelings.  You don't let anyone in unless you deem them fit and you are certainly very skeptical about life,  Maybe you should try to be more open and wonderful things will come to you."  Interesting to say the least.

I wonder, do you think my standing with my arms folded in front of me and my body turned slightly away from her was giving her any clues as to my state of mind at the time.  Did she interpret my body language as well as the expression on my face to draw that conclusion, or did the card tell her?  Like I said, it is always open to interpretation with tarot cards.

I thanked the woman for her time and continued to walk down the isle of stall holders but as I walked past one lady, I was drawn to her sparkly purple table cloth that had glitter sprinkled around a crystal ball.  Yes, a crystal ball.  So I sat.  I waited.  She looked at me.  She closed her eyes.  She opened her eyes, placed her hands over the crystal ball and said, "Hi Janeen.  Your mum wants to thank you for listening to her and coming to see me today".

I swear you could have picked me up off the floor because I am sure my jaw hit it, if not my whole body.  I swear to you.  I didn't even utter a word to her and I am fairly sure I didn't see any facial recognition software on an iPad, or mobile device of any kind on her table or in her hands.  OMG!!!!

I guess she knew she had me off guard because she then smiled at me and held out her hand, As I placed my hand in hers and held it she said, "Hi, I'm Shirley.  I wanted to run and grab you when you first walked past me earlier, but your mum told me to stay seated because you would be back.  And she was right".

Needless to say I had a very interesting chat with Shirley as we spoke of many things.  Mostly about what happened last year but also a lot about what was possible for the future.  She did tell me that I am loved and protected by several spirits and that I am surrounded by yellow and orange and flowers. Yellow and orange are the colors of warmth and flowers, "What's with the flowers" I said to Shirley. She simply shook her head and said, "I don't know, but your mum wants me to acknowledge these things".

Shirley also told me that Mack, my beloved, would come to me in a dream with my Mum.  I do realize the power of suggestion can be very very strong sometimes, but this was something that I totally forgot about until I woke up crying this morning.  I had a dream last night and in my dream, Mack was lying in my arms telling me he had to go and that he couldn't stay too long, Mum was sitting in the chair beside me and as I held on to Mack as he took his last breaths for the second time, I was able to tell him I was sorry, sorry that I wasn't there for him in the final weeks of his life like I should have been,  sorry for the decision I made to send him to his eternal peace in pet heaven, but that I thought it was the right decision to make for him.  I didn't want him to be in pain but I loved him so very very much and miss him everyday.  In my dream he turned his head to me, and said, "it's okay mum... I am happy, and I love you.  You made the right decision".

Of course, I woke up crying, sobbing in fact.  Is it possible to feel utterly devastated and totally at peace in the same instance?  Even if it was just the power of suggestion, I feel like it has given me, my second chance at saying goodbye.

Thank you Shirley

© Janeen Hayes 2016